Ladies and Gentleman, Ducks Football

In about a half and hour or so, Sparky Duck will start the roller coaster ride that is University of Oregon Football.



And yet, I am looking so forward to this!

A Duck needs a Hand

Or maybe its a wing. But, no matter. Here is the story.

Our Anniversary is coming up, only 10 days away or so. And while, there is not much of a plan, I still needs some ideas. So of course, I look to my blogger friends for advice. I have a grand plan, I need the details.

Ya see, my plan is to get one thing from each place that we visited on our Honeymoon. So, thats one thing from San Diego, one or two things from Hawaii and one thing from Seattle. Now, I have an idea in mind for Seattle, but now I have a problem with the rest of them. Coconuts and smoked salmon are not going to cut it.

So, all my blogger friends, how could you help. And please, lets remember that I am on a semi limited budget and cutting it close for shipping.

And now, to get noticed, I will link a few folks because I figure they would just notice a link.

LADY JANE SCARLETT
STARRLIGHT
KAILANI
DRAGON
HYPERION
CHRISTIE O
DESERT SONGBIRD

and of course anyone with a romantic bone in there body

Oregon still has 10 minutes to go

But, my goodness, Senator Obama really brought it tonight in Iowa, especially in comparison to the sort of please keep me around speech from Senator Clinton. I have a toast all set for when the Beaver State ends this nonsense in my book. 12 minutes to go

11:20

And now Pat Buchanan has insulted Oregon, by first calling it Or E Gone and then saying it is the spotted owl state. Now I have to keep telling myself that Pat Buchanan is a freaking idiot.

Oregon will slam the door shut tonight

This could be one of the final chances for Senator Clinton to get out in front of an audience of supporters and give a victory speech, as the fiasco that the Democratic Party calls Primary season, winds its way towards Kentucky and Oregon. And yes, Senator Clinton can still finagle a way to sneak into the presidential nomination, but unless you really count Puerto Rico as a contest, Kentucky could be her last confetti and balloon moment until the whole carnival gets to Denver.

The reason for this is after probably getting a comfortable 10 to 15 point win in the Bluegrass state, the voters of Oregon will start the "Na Na Na" singing to Senator Clinton, giving Senator Obama a comfortable win in one of the liberalist states on the map. And while she will win Puerto Rico, he will end up getting Montana and Idaho, or Montana and a Dakota, or whatever two Big Sky states that are left to vote on June 5th and the math will still show her behind. Plus really, when was the last time Senator Clinton had 80,000 people showing up to see her at a rally?



Though she did get a tour of Makers Mark, which is something I would sure like to do someday.

On a side note, if this was a discussion about college football instead of politics, a game between the University of Kentucky and either of the big time football schools in Oregon would be an exciting one.

S.B. Hotties Day 4

We press on after a bit of an under the weather break. Before we get to the skin, let me warn/alert you all that I am going to have a little contest this weekend for the Super Bowl, and the prizes will actually be worthy of man or woman.

Anyway, on with the babes.

Leah!




Georgia!




By the way, Georgia gets my vote, barely, because she is a Seattle girl

Blogging the Ducks 5

Wow, a penalty flag thrown on Arizona. I better run out and buy a lottery ticket or something.

Sheesh, its on the Oregon sideline, throw another personal foul for knocking Stewart up into the stands.

Brady Leaf, you still SUCK

This could be the worst Refereed game I have seen all year, I mean awfully called. Why dont we just make sure USC is the team in the Rose Bowl. Fucking Bullshit

Too many turnovers

Jonathan Stewart, all day, all night Gotta get a score here and at least the pressure if on Tuitama. Though nice touch by Wildcat fans, cheering Stewarts injury.

Crenshaw in and guess what, its still a game with 8 minutes to go.

yep that was a face mask. I think the game rides on this 4th down. 5 minutes left, yep this is the ball game. Well fuck me, second effort does it

Tuitama, i told you, I told you and Patrick Chung with the recovery, or maybe not since we will review once again, sheesh. Shit I think hes down. Well of course, not a fumble

3:20, thats it, 10 point lead again, I am depressed and soured. Enjoy Kansas Hawaii for the championship

Live Blogging the Ducks 4

Please oh please, let Brady Leaf be hurt. Not like ACL hurt, just bruised knee hurt so I do not have to watch him amble around the field anymore.

Shocking, Tuitama makes a mistake. I do not know why AZ keeps him at QB

Oh theres a shock, these homer refs call a holding. I guess they get there mail in Tucson or something.

Well, they did need a field goal, so now or later it does not matter. Evensen knocks another chipper through. Now, lets make Tuitama win this game. I bet he can't

Here is the problem with the Arizona offense, they have absolutely, positively no running game. Take the INT for a TD and the Punt Return away and this game is tied.

Um hello, you are down 14 points. You have a defense that makes mistakes. Dink and dunk wont cut it

Brillant move by Baby Stoops, trust the run game and do not let Tuitama cause the loss, because throwing the ball will make this game a 7 point one quickly.

See, another almost INT for the Ducks. The problem is the word Almost

Boring, sheesh Baby Stoops may be a bit concerned for his job. And um Dean, please, you should have been called for Pass Interference

On to the 4th Quarter, Arizona has done nothing in the 2nd half. Unfortunately, neither have my Ducks

Live Blogging the Ducks 3

Its so so close to getting out of hand, and its 10:15

Jesus Christ, do they have any other QBs besides Brady "I am Ryans Brother" Leaf

On a side note, thats it, I am calling to complain to DirecTV. They have the Arkasas St vs North Texas game on ESPN Gameplan and of course they are not showing it because we need enough stations to show some crappy hockey games. This aint Kanada ya know

The Wildcats offense still kinda sucks. They got the ball last drive at about the 40 and could only gain 8 yards. The score is 31 to 11 but AZ has scored 14 points off an INT and a Punt Return.

Williams (#4) has got to stop bobbling the ball. This is big time football my friend, it is not Big East Football

Evensen jams one through, which does two things. Makes the game a 17 point one and also causes me to think I may be up longer tonight

Thanks Achilles that it is halftime and only a 17 point game. There is still hope, though slim

Live Blogging the Ducks 2

It should now be Jonathan Stewart all night long, yet they decide to let Leaf throw, big freaking mistake.

Things should stay close if the Wildcats have to actually play offense, Tuitama will make a mistake, he just has to, its in his makeup.

Late hit on the AZ QB Tuitama. Thats it the Refs are fucking homers.

I am already looking forward to Hawaii vs Nevada tomorrow night. Its an actual test for the Rainbow Warriors

You are losing 17 to 11 with your offensive star out. You don't freaking go for an interception. I think the Ducks maybe fucked, I hope you all enjoy LSU kicking the crap out of Kansas/Oklahoma.

Brady Leaf is a dog

Its 31 to 11 now, what a fucking joke, I looked forward all day to this? to this? I now need to root for chaos, because Brady will not bring them back.

On Campus November 3

Yes, it was a great great day for Oregon Duck fans, and it was just a miserable day for fans of the Sun Devils of Arizona State. Dennis Dixon solidified himself as a Top 5 Heisman candidate, by leading Oregon to a 35-23 victory over the previously undefeated ASU. The game was exciting to say the least, but if really must rub the backers of the Sun Devils raw that Dixon was out of the game most of the second half and Zona State still could not manufacture a comeback. Heck, Brady Leaf is not half as good as his brother Ryan, and Ryan kinda sucked.

As I mentioned, Notre Dame lost to Navy on Saturday, for the first time in 43 years. The game was about what you would expect from a 1-7 team and a 4-3 team who just lost the week before to Division 1-AA powerhouse, the University of Delaware. Well there was this play, which was absolutely amazing.



Another BCS fraud fell by the wayside as BC lost to a Florida State team that was not a real Florida State team. And Matt Ryan played like Darren Flutie instead of Doug Flutie, throwing an interception in the fourth quarter that cost the Eagles the game.

Kansas hung 76 points on Nebraska. And we are not talking about Jayhawk basketball here. Though this is not running up the score, this is revenge for 25 years of KU getting stomped by 50 points by Nebraska. I would say get the moving van for Husker coach Tom Callahan.

Somehow, LSU beat Alabama, though I still have absolutely no idea how they did it. I mean clueless, I turned the game off to watch the end of the Ducks with the Crimson Tide winning, I turn around to see Early Doucet stealing the game, maybe Wordnerd can explain.

Oh let me mention that Darren McFadden is the Heisman Trophy frontrunner, hands down, no questions asked.

It was a great Saturday of College football though...

Did I Mention..??

That the Ducks play the Huskies today, in like 6 hours?? This game of course brings back some great memories, like Kenny Wheaton and the Pick.



Quack on Baby, Quack on

Pick Your Poison #7/Huskie Jokes

This weekend, a renewal of a Pacific Northwest Rivalry occurs. The Oregon Ducks (see that Rhet) take on the University of Washington Huskies. If you ask an Oregon fan, there are 2 big rivals, the Huskies and the Oregon State Beavers. Usually, by the time UO plays the Beavers, the season is already set. The boys in Green are playing in the Holiday/Sun Bowl and the Beavers are fighting to play in some bowl game. So, honestly, there is little animosity with Oregon State, because they usually beat someone that helps us.

Now, University of Washington, there is hatred. Hatred that almost gets violent. And if nothing else arises in some great jokes at the Fuskies expense.

Q: What do Paris Hilton and UW have in common?
A: They both got screwed by a guy named 'Rick' (The Uw Rick is cheater ex-coach Rick Neuheisal)

Q: What's the difference between the Huskies and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.


Q: What do the Huskies and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Q: What do the Huskies and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 60,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ."

Q: What do a Husky cheerleader and a Husky quarterback have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time on their backs.

A big thank you to HuskiesSuck.Com and a big thank you to UW for being such good comedic fodder.

So, for Pick your Poison and in the interest of fair play, it is one drink that is purple and 2 drinks that are green (Fuck you, I am a Ducks fan, I am being nice including one purple drink)

Purple People Eater

2oz Gin
1oz Vodka
6oz Cranberry Juice
6oz Grape Juice

Mix Liquor and Juice in a tall glass
Serve on Ice if requested.

*********************************************************************************

Martian Martini

2oz Gin
1oz Midori Melon Liquer

Combine Gin and Midori in Shaker with ice. Shake. Strain into a martini glass. Enjoy.
******************************************************************************

Green Flash

2oz Dark Rum
1oz Blue Caracao
.75oz Amaretto
2oz Pineapple Juice
2oz Orange Juice

Shake well with ice, garnish with pineapple wedge, cherry, and float of rum.
************************************************************

Enjoy and tune in at 7:30 eastern time on your local Fox Sports Channel for one of the best rivalries of the year.

On Campus-October 13th

First a warning, Wordnerd old buddy, you may wish to avert your eyes.

Another wild week of football this past weekend, and luckily, I did get the chance to actually see some of it.

First and probably most important, Kentucky upset LSU in triple overttime. Bond is right, I owe the Kentucky fans an apology, I thought the Bayou Bengals were gonna plow right through the Wildcats. In fact, when the score got two a double digit difference, I though the game had to be over. Boy was I wrong. Andre Woodson has gone from dark horse for the Heisman to one of the front runners. And whoever this kid Locke was for Kentucky, I am shocked that he was there 3rd string running back. Not as shocked as Les Myles I am sure. Speaking of old Les, the same man who gambled on fourth down last week decided that he would run into the line 4 straight times in the 4th overtime. LSU by the way only gained 8 yards in that 4th OT.

So, the college football world was all set to embrace California as the new #1 team in the land. That lasted for about 3 hours, as Cal lost to Oregon State. Now this should not have been that surprising, Cal had there backup QB and this is pretty much the same team that beat USC at the end of last year to end there conference winning streak. Slight problem, this game was played in Berkeley, in front of the hometown fans, at night no less. You are not supposed to lose night games at home! You are also not supposed to scramble with 10 seconds left when your team has no timeouts, which is what the redshirt freshman QB did for Cal, keeping there field goal kicker off the field and TADA win for the Beavers.

This means that somehow, Ohio State is the new #1 team. This is not even a good Buckeye team this year and they only stomped all over Kent University. No not Kentucky, Kent in Ohio. And sorry, Michael, Central Florida maybe improved, but they are no where as good as South Florida, which was evident when the Golden Knights got doused by the Bulls, 59 to some nonsense number. I think USF scored again about 10 minutes ago.

Oregon was pissed off this weekend and took out there anger on Wazzou 53-7. Oklahoma won again, proving a few things. Missouri will never be a great Big 12 conference team, they just can't stand prosperity. Oklahoma is one of the class of the Big 12 again this year, but please Sooner fans, shut up with the "Bradford for Heisman" chants would ya. Most of the country does not even know who Sam Bradford is.

Hawaii won on Friday night, needing a 21 point comeback in the 4th quarter. I love the Warriors, but the more I watch them, the more I am not convinced that they are a BCS caliber team. Though Colt Brennan should still be in the Heisman discussion.

So, the BCS is now a mess. A disaster is brewing just off the coast and it is metaphorically bearing down on the University Presidents who back this cockeyed, bastardized form of a football playoff. I promise to say how I would fix it sometime this week, I know you are all waiting with baited breath.

Wordy, don't look

On Campus September 29th

Ok, lets get the painful part out of the way first. California nipped Oregon 31 to 24. It was painful to watch and smacked a bit of the Eagles in the first game of the year. The Bears got at least 14 points off Oregon turnovers, including one muff of a kickoff and Dennis Dixon finished off any talk of the Heisman by throwing an interception in the red zone and one interception at his own 10. Never mind the fumble on the one yard line. Trust me, this Duck was quite upset!

That pain relived once again, thank you very much, the rest of the Saturday, and really Friday night was a day full of upsets.
Upset that surprised me the least you ask? Texas getting thumped by Kansas State, 41 to 21. This Texas is not the Texas of 2 years ago, they had a nice ranking based on the fact that they are the Longhorns, there coach is Mack Brown and the have a Quarterback with a really cool name. The Wildcats know how to play the Longhorns, look at what happened last year, so this was not shocking to me, though the score was.

Upset that shocked me the most? Florida losing at home to Auburn. Auburn still does not have an offense, I do not think they have had an offense since Tommy Tuberville got there 9 years ago, but they know how to hang on to a lead. Florida was another one of those overrated teams, and if you want to talk overrated coaches, lets look at Urban Meyer. He won at Bowling Green with someone elses players, he won at Utah with players recruited by someone esle and he won last year with the Gators with, you guessed it, players recruited by Ron Zook. So it should be no shock when his system is figured out and he has to rely on talent. The Gators are young and for all the talk of Tim Tebow, he can not really throw a good ball.

The upset that made me happiest of course was Oklahoma losing to Colorado. I have a special kind of hatred for the Sooners and there whiny, slimy, egostical coach Stoops. I must admit that as I watched the Buffaloes celebration after the winning field goal, when the cameras caught an 8 year old Sooner fan crying in the stands. Get used to it kid, your coach never schedules anyone and then hopes to get lucky to get through the weak Big 12!

I mentioned South Florida on Friday night, but they could be the BCS Cinderella this year. They have a killer defense and tough as nails quarterback. Oh yea, and there cheerleaders are hot. Go Bulls for sure.

Rutgers lost in there first real game, I guess Norfolk State was not a good warmup in comparison to Maryland. USC is still overrated, though not as overrated as before, since they are no longer the number one team in the land. That spot is owned by the Bayou Bengals of LSU, who are just a wicked team on offense and defense. Plus one of there biggest boosters said that she thinks Oregon will beat USC, which would make my year. So lets all follow the Wordnerd and hop on the purple bandwagon.

Hawaii won again of course, fun team to watch, even when they are playing the Idaho school for the blind, which is of course the University of Idaho Vandals football team.

**Edit-I forgot to add the gratuitous cheerleader shot, so here are some Trojans I do like, the girls of Troy University***

On Campus-September 8

Saturday was one of those days that made you happy to be a football fan. You would have looked over the games and figured that some of these were going to be dogs, and then lo and behold, they were some great games.

Oregon put a thumping on Michigan, sending them to the worst home loss ever, in point differential. Dennis Dixon looked like Vince Young and it looked like the Wolverine cornerbacks could have been beaten on a long bomb by me. Yes, both Hart and Henne eventually got injured, making the 2nd half a mute point, but sorry Wolverine fans, by the time all that happened, the game was over. By the way, a note to the Wolverine defensive coordinators, the statue of Liberty play has been around forever. It is not a new gimmick. Getting fooled by it not once but twice is even more foolish. Oh yea 39-7 by the way, Quack Quack!

Unfortunately, the NCAA Infraction committee did not come in and shut down the Oklahoma vs Miami of Florida game for cheating and rules infractions. So we will just have to revel in how bad the Hurricanes looked, though truth be told, I would have reveled in a Sooner loss if the shoe was on the other cheater foot.

Delaware beat pesky West Chester to go to 2-0. West Chester is the Blue Hens closest rivals, though the folks in Newark likely consider them to be more of a nuisance while the Rams consider us there biggest enemies. I have seen West Chester beat Delaware in person in the past, so any victory of them is a good one.

We were out with Red and The Senator, so we missed almost all of the Penn State/Notre Dame game. Though if you were an Irish backer, which is where I would have been leaning if I had to pick between both teams, it seems we did not really miss too much. Long year for Charlie Weis.

Speaking of the Irish, UWashington snapped the nations longest winning streak with a win over Boise State. I bet the subway Alumni now wish they would have given Willingham a bit more time as the Irish coach, since he is bringing the Huskies back quickly. And with the win over LaTech, it looks like the Warriors of Hawaii are on there way to being this years Boise State, with the aptly named Heisman Trophy candidate, Colt Brennan.

Finally, there was some late night joy, as Auburn, one of the most OVERRATED, undercoached, someone made a deal with the Devil teams in the country, lost to the University of South Florida at home, in overtime. I did a little jig when Grothe completed that touchdown in overtime and was even happier for the Bulls kicker who missed at least 4 field goals and still helped his team to win. I guess Auburn could not bribe any officials before that game.

And now, to bow down to the lowest common denominator, sex, here is the cheerleader pic, an anonymous Sun Doll of the University of South Florida.

50 Hotties 50 States-Washington

Well, back to something that I do know how to do, female hotness. And this is the last stop in the Pacific Northwest on our tour, with the state of Washington, and I think this selection is a good one.

Josie Bissett, actually shares my Birthday, though she was born in a different year. She was born October 5, 1970 in Seattle, Washington. She is best known, of course, for the campy, cheesy hit, Melrose Place. I could have sworn she was also doing some shilling for a makeup company, but I can not be to sure, since all those makeup commercials look alike.

50 States Oregon Late Night Edition

If I come across a porn star I have heard of, I have to mention her, especially if she is born in a state like Oregon, where you might be surpised a porn star comes from.

It is a tad unclear whether Dana Vespoli was born in San Francisco or Portland, Oregon, but I have begun to trust IMDB for this information, so that is why she is posted for the Oregon Naughty Hottie. I can say she was born September 22, 1972.

Here's a picture I was able to find that would be Safe For Work.

50 States 50 Hotties-Oregon

Don't forget, only a few hours left to vote for your hottest Miami Dolphin Quarterback.

Off to the "true" Pacific Northwest and also off to one of my favorite states in the country. I have always loved visiting Oregon. The food is great, views are spectacular and you can buy a beer in the shopping mall food courts. Best way to shop.

Laura Allen was born March 21, 1974 in Portland, Oregon. She is probably best known for her part on The 4400, though it is not a show that I watch. She also has one of those familiar faces, probably because she has been a one time guest star on a lot of the dramas that I write, like Criminal Minds, House and Law and Order:SVU.

50 States 50 Hotties-Idaho

In honor of Idaho losing to USC by only 28 points and the fact that I consider Idaho to be a Pacific Northwest state, we get the 50 in 50 Project back on track. Idaho was hard, which I am sure, no one is surprised by.

Lana Turner was born as Julia Jean Mildred Frances Turner in Wallace, Idaho on February, 8 1921. With a name like that, we can see why Lana became her stage name. She was a star of many classic films, including A Star is Born and the original version of The Postman Always Rings Twice. She passed away in 1995 of complications from throat cancer.




Just to be sure you are paying attention, look for the male hottie contest to start this week.

Thursday Thirteen #43-The Beach One

Thirteen Beaches Sparky Has Visited Its Summertime, which means alot of lucky dudes and dudettes are off running around on various beaches enjoying themselves. So, to sort of connect with all those lucky you know whats, here are 13 beaches that Sparky has visited over my lifetime. If pictures are included, they are pictures I have taken. Enjoy and wash the sand off your feet before you leave. 1.Wildwood Crest, Wildwood Crest, NJ- For about 10 days every summer from 1979 to about 1987 or so, our family vacation every summer would include spending time with the Grandparents in a one bedroom, one bathroom suite in Wildwood. While it sounds unappetizing now, it was loads of fun when you were 10. 2.Jekyll Island, Georgia-I can barely remember this trip to the beach, because it was so long ago and I think it was actually raining when we were there. But the beach itself was small and kind of rocky. With limited memory, this was not one of my favorites. But, lets rememebr I was like 13, and at 13 you dont like anything. 3. Daytona Beach, Florida-A weird little beach, but again I was there with my parents and brother. So while the fact that the cars could drive on the sand was cool, I missed out on alot of the other "activities", so to speak. 4.Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey-This was where we would hang out on the summers in High School. If you wanted to hook up with a New Yorker under the boardwalk, this was one of the places. 5.Canon Beach, Oregon. This place is best known for Haystack Rock, as well as the fact that part of the movie Goonies was filmed there. It was gorgeous, but very cold on the feetsies. I have to find my pictures from there, they were cool. 6.Harrington Beach, University of Delaware-Ok, this is not a beach in the sense that there is sand and water. It was a grassy location between three dorms at my alma mater. They call it a beach because it is more dirt then grass, plus the coeds would always lay out here whenever it was close to warm enough to wear a bikini. 7.Sarasota, Florida-It may or may not be Sarasota, but it was darn close to there. Amazing Sunsets over the bay. 8.Hilton Head Isle, South Carolina-I have been to these beaches a couple of times and what I can remember is the waves really were kind of sucky. The sand was gorgeous and the sun was warm, especially for April. 9.Waikiki, Oahu, Hawaii-I know I have mentioned this multiple times before, so just enjoy. 10.Estrella Mountain Golf Course, Goodyear, Arizona-Ok, again, it is not really a beach with waves. But, I consider it a beach because the last time I played golf here with my father, I spent most of my time in the giant sand traps. 11.Ocean City, Maryland-It was not exactly beach weather when we were down there this year, and to me it was an odd little place if you were looking for the beach feel. I think it was because of the high rise condos right on the water. But, dipping your feet in the sand did make you long for summer. 12. Wailea Beach at The Fairmont Kea Lani, Maui, Hawaii-This was the beach that was right off of our hotel. Breathtaking! Technically I believe it is called Polo Beach. 13.Black Sand Beach, Maui, Hawaii-Found on the Road to Hana. I would have sat here and looked at all the beautiful natural colors exploding around us for hours, if I could have. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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