Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Coach Duck grants an interview meme

Editors noted: The ownership is the human form of me, the feathered Coach is my alter ego. Though I will be as honest as I can be answering questions, you needed this information for any of the lead up to make sense. Yes, I probably need to be medicated.

Coach Duck came sauntering into the side room at Franklin Field, not really to pleased about being dragged away from his vacation on the Galapagos Islands. He was the coach of a fantasy football team, who would care what his thoughts were? But the Ownership of the Blue Ducks said it would be good for merchandising, the fact that he was sitting down with a couple of bloggers that skewed to the woman's point of view would get Blue Ducks aprons and sweatshirts and mock cheerleaders outfits sold. So our feathered friend scoured as he looked across the table at Tug and awaited her questions.

1. Are you like your cousin Donald Duck & don't wear any pants?
Puhlease, of course I wear pants. You think that I could walk around Philadelphia and not wear pants? And I must say, Donald is a distant distant cousin. The family resemblence is quite small, ending at the fact that we are both ducks. Next Question!

2. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Why?
*taking a deep cleansing breath* If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be Wailea, Hawaii. The stress is non existent their, the weather is gorgeous and everyone just seems so friendly and happy. It may have been because we paid them gads amount of money when we visited last, but to me its the perfect place.

3. You're having a dinner party, and anyone you invite WILL be there. Name 6 people you would invite - dead or alive. (It's a fantasy, so I included dead people)
Well, to be sure I don't get shot with an arrow when this is published, I am going to assume that Mrs Duck will already be there and not count her amongst the 6. Don't like it? Too Bad, its my question. So, in no particular order.
2.Tony Kornheiser-He is a brillant, humorous writer, plus he knows sports.
3.Frank Lloyd Wright-An American genius
4.Scarlett Johansson-Everyone needs a little eye candy
5.Bruce Springsteen-my musical hero while I was growing up.
6.Adolf Hitler-Just so I could ask him what in god's name was he thinking

4. If you could only watch one sport for the rest of your life, what would it be? *the duck looked down, dressed in his football coaching outfit and gave a blank stare* Please, Ms. Tug, Football is a game of combat, a battle of wills. Plus, it makes great great television. No contest.

5. What do you want to be remembered for?
Hmm, I wish to be rememebered for being a great husband, a terrific father, even if it is only to a bunch of kittens, which, by the way, would make me very very happy and to be remembered as someone who was always their for their friends when the chips were down, whether they were online friends or in person ones.

Now, if you have nothing else, I have another interview waiting. I hope the people of Hell, er I mean Colorado enjoy learning more about me. And with that and a flutter of blue the Duck was gone.

The Coach stomped out, hoping he did better the his friend Charlie Manuel in front of the press as he came across the Southern reporter from No Accent Yet. Now this interview was important, since there were internet rumors about the team moving to the Carolinas in the next few years. Though, how hard could this interview be, it had been reschueled once because Tiff was sore from her tattoo.

1) Your best friend is a goat named Emu. How do you explain this to your Mom?
Well, my mom has met my ex wife, so I don't know if their would be much explaining necessary. But, I would just say that he has always been a good friend to me, never questions my decisions and no we are not having sex.

2) Mint chocolate chip ice cream. Would you eat it before all other flavors or only if there WERE no other flavors?
Oh thats an easy one. I only like mint in my mojitos. And the frozen chocolate chips makes my beak hurt when I bite down on them, so only if there were no other flavors.

3) Ever seen a real two-headed calf?
Depends on what you mean by real. During my summers in Wildwood, there was a Ripley's Believe it or Not stand, and I could have sworn there was a two headed calf in formaldahyde. Though it could have been a goat.

4) It's summertime, and you're going on a picnic with your wife. What do you pack, and where do you go?

Oh, this is a very tough question. I can't keep mentioning Maui as my fantasy destination. So, I would pack some a muffaleta salad, a bottle of riesling, some baked brie en croute, that was magically warm when we got there and as a nod to my lovely wife, I would find the place where Much Ado About Nothing was filmed in Tuscany and have the picnic there.

5) Do you like triangles or circles better? Why?

Another tough one, but that is because I picture myself as a witch. I would pick a circle, because a circle is where witches get all their power from. A closed circle is much more powerful then just casting a spell all by yourself, because you draw off the power of others around you. Plus, stadiums are usually some sort of circle.

Now, the official stuff:
If anyone else wants to play along:

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.”
I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
You will update your weblog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.


Tug said...

You're awesome!

Clinton SUCKS.

Mrs. Duck WAS invited to the dinner party - a given...

and I want to know Hitler's answer.

Thanks for playing!!

kailani said...

Yes, Wailea is a slice of heaven.

I ask another blogger for some questions but I still haven't heard from her. I'll take an interview from you if you promise to be nice. hee hee

Anthony said...

“Interview me.”

I'd invite Wolfgang Puck to dinner, so at least I would know that the food would be good.

tiff said...

Wonderful answers, Mr Duck!!! Your picnic idea rocks.