Monday, August 14, 2006

Hilarious neigbors

Ok I have no idea if this is true or not, but I found this to be utterly hilarious. And just in case some of you dont have access to Myspace, heres the blog, chomped from Trista.

Today I met the person who lives directly behind me in my building. We share our bedroom walls, actually. Why is this important to you? Just let me tell my story, okay?

I have not been the most social neighbor since I moved into my building a year and a half ago. In fact, I have not socialized at all. Sure, I have exchanged niceties with a few people, especially the ones I see every day. But no lifelong bonds have been made here. So anyhow, yes, I finally met the person who lives in the apartment behind mine. Since our entrances are nowhere near each other we had not crossed paths. But today I was in the office of the building and it just so happened that she was too.

I had finished my business with the building manager and was leaving. She came out behind me. The following is our conversation, I am in red, she is in blue.

"You live in 50-1407?"

"Uh huh?" (Who is this chick and why is she following me?)

"I live right behind you, 50-1412."

"Oh, hey. How are you?" (Okay, what did I do?)

"Yeah, DIRECTLY behind you. Like we share a bedroom wall."

"Ummm...okay, cool..." (Okay, what the hell??)

"Yeah, my husband and I hear you sometimes..."

"..."(Oh fuck!)

"We hear you a lot, actually."

"Oh! Shit! Im sorry, shit. I...uhhh..." (Would it be bad to just run?!)

"No, dont be! This is going to sound so weird, but I have to say it. We, well, we owe you a lot."

"Owe me?" (Please don't tell me they taped me or something. Oh god! I wonder if the complained and got rent knocked off. I bet the entire building knows...50-1407, that's the loud sex girl!)

"This is so embarrassing, but heck, I am just gonna say it. Our sex life had pretty much disappeared. We did it a couple times a month still, but it was real boring. Then one night we were laying in bed and we heard you, well, going at it. We didn't know what it was at first, just a lot of banging noises. So we started listening harder and heard you shout out and stuff. Before I knew what was happening we were getting it on too! And it was good too!"

"" (Oh my god!I am having threesomes...through a wall!)

"Oh geez I am embarrassing you, huh? I just wanted to thank you, cuz you know, we have more sex now, it's like sometimes we can hear you and it reminds us or something..and ummm..."

"Weellll...great! Err..keep up the good work!" (Keep up the good work? What are you saying, Trista?? )

"I am so excited that I got to see what you look like. We had a feeling you'd be pretty! My husband will be so excited!"

"Aww, thanks Listen, I gotta run, I am late, but it was nice you..." (Your husband will be excited?? Why? Oh god...please dont ask for my number!)

"Okay, well, see you around! I'm Lynn by the way."

"Okay, bye!" (Screw it, I am running...I did say I was in a hurry...)

So that was my morning! Am I still going to have loud, enthusiastic sex in my bedroom? Yes, yes I am. But this is yet another reason why I am glad to be moving out of this building at the end of this month...