Tuesday, November 02, 2004

10 things to pass the time

I ripped this off from Dizzy Girl who got it from the Savannah Now news website, but I am too lazy to do all that registering and stuff to get the article, so the joy of cut and paste, though this list does have a Lettermanesque tone to it.

10. Turn to the crossword page in the newspaper. Ask in your loudest, outdoor voice: "What's a four-letter word for loser? Starts with B?'' If you're Republican, just insert the word "five'' for ''four,'' and the letter 'K' for 'B.'
9. Suggest passing time by having an impromptu Ashlee Simpson impression contest. The best lip-syncher gets to vote twice.

8. Continuously ask people in front of you: "This is the line for flu shots, right?'' When that gets old (and it will, quickly), inquire: "Is this the place to register for the re-vote?''

7. Start a special election day round of "99 bottles of cheap Canadian pharmaceuticals on the wall, 99 bottles of cheap Canadian pharmaceuticals ..."

6. Play "Name Your Favorite Mudslinging Campaign Ad.''

5. For Democrats, program your wireless phone to play Bruce Springsteen's "No Surrender'' or Tom Petty's "I Won't Back Down.''

For Republicans, program yours with that old stand-by "Hail to the Chief" or, if you're feeling adventurous, Credence Clearwater Revival's "Fortunate Son.''

4. In the spirit of every sports fan's favorite cheer - "Taste Great! Less Filling!'' - start a chant between the waiting Democrats and Republicans: "Jon Stewart! Tucker Carlson!''

3. Pass around a flask. Make up a drinking game. Voters take a slug each time someone says the words "electoral college'' and ''obsolete'' in the same sentence.

2. Three words: Ketchup Eating Contest.

1. Exchange e-mail addresses with fellow voters so you can arrange a post-election, watch-the-Supreme Court-appoint-the-president party. Leave the polls saying "See you at the recount